Being on mission

Drove down to Los Angeles last Sunday for our middle school mission trip. Three adults, six kids and some very busy and long days. We've been out in the community helping out where possible and have spent time in South Central, Long Beach and Glendale and have done service with children, seniors, homeless people and families and it's been amazing...

The one thing I've missed outside of the kitties has been my meditation time. Today has been my first chance to grab anything close and that was five minutes or so in a lovely little park near where we were working. Sitting under a tree, feeling the sun and the air was a reminder of the importance of quieting the mind. Add in a little bit of a bug and the brief moment was enough to "quiet my body" and still my soul. 

Will post more frequently over the next week and then it's off to Chicago with the high-schoolers!

A melange of thoughts

Waking up this morning was hard after staying up way too late last night celebrating the Golden State Warriors winning game 6 and claiming the 2014/2015 NBA Championship. It was really hard to stop watching all of the festivities, interviews, joys of the moment and the bonhomie that seems to layer this group like a fine patina. As a long-time fan, supporter it was and continues to be an amazing series of moments.

So dragged my tired body to my neighborhood juice shop for sustenance only to find out that they'll be closing on June 27 as a part of a Starbuck's decision to what? Downsize? Clean up their corporate bottom line? That means that I'm on my home in terms of juice and healthy breakfast beverages which fits in nicely with what I need to do with meditation so taking this s a move in the right direction in terms of personal responsibility.

The thing I've yet to do is meditate but I'm here for a meeting and then another meeting so my self-care is delayed. I'll get to it I'm sure and imagine that it will feel very good to be in silence and still my thoughts or as it says in Psalm 131, "quiet my body and still my soul".

Peace my friends and remember, that with God, all things are possible!

Trouble, you can't fool me.

Whose life doesn't have at least a little bit of trouble, struggle, whatever...

I'm in one of those times right now where life is full and that occasionally makes for a bumpy path. Worried about work stuff, family stuff, life stuff and even though I don't feel crippled by any of it, would like a little stretch of boring. Since this isn't going to happen for me anytime until July, I went looking for a meditation that would put my mind and heart at ease. Seeking soothing words and kind thoughts, I went to the good folks at Mindful Worship and did one of their new 'meditations on the go'. These on the go pieces feature a number of different voices reading relevant passages (on the subject du jour) and from different biblical translations and it was just right. Arrived at work with a smile on my face and even though the song in my heart is still a little muted, I was reminded that I do have a hand in my own mental state.

That's an important step for me who is regularly prone to feeling so helplessness or despair and acute loneliness. I know that these feelings are often ridiculously off base or off target and meditation has been a great tool toward not only recognizing that but then doing something about it. This is especially true for those of us who are Christian or at least trying to be. We are never alone no matter how it might feel like that is the case. Centering prayer, guided meditations, sites like Mindful Worship are there whenever we choose to use them and while it might be not as fast-acting as my anti-anxiety meds, in the long run they put me in a better and longer lasting place.

And then Sunday becomes Monday...

Sunday was an amazing day. Worship then going down to see the photo exhibit that our 4th and 5th graders had done at the encouragement, support, extra effort of their Sunday morning support team (aka Sunday school teachers). Was happy to see a good turnout and some real appreciation for our kids and their families and their (mostly) bemusement at the acclaim and congratulations they were receiving. Beautiful moment and their impressions of the church were profound in a way that well reflects their age. Nonplussed is the word I think I'm looking for...

After that it was time to get home, meditate, get myself right for the basketball game (Golden State Warriors) and then do my best to keep my s@#$ together. Not that easy and the end was worth the energy expenditure but my mindfulness was shot. And to add on to that, the tired I was is not the tired that lends itself well to reflection, meditation. Tired, coming out of it slowly but sooner than later today I'll need to find a comfortable place to quiet the chatter in my monkey mind. Forgiving myself for being scattered and know that this too shall pass.

Sunday

This is a day for all forms of meditation to come to the front. From waking through arriving at the church, from welcoming the children in the choir to meeting with the worship staff; this is the day the Lord has made and I truly do rejoice in it. And this is also where I come to realize the many forms that meditation takes. Standing, sitting, walking or listening the moments of 'now' are incredible and sustaining with every voice being a breath of it's own.

I sit in my office typing these words as the choir warms up and as I think about my responsibilities for the day and there is no (or at least little) stress.

I am where I am with the people who are here, everything in it's right place.

Meditation best practices (as interpreted by me)

My only difficulty with meditation to date has been dealing with my own expectations and translating anything that doesn't meet that expectation as failure. I know myself well enough to know that's setting myself up to translate that failure into inaction and then the next thing I know, I haven't meditated for weeks. While meditating every day is a valid goal and something that I'm pretty close to doing, I've refused to make that the way I define my meditation and practice. I've instead committed myself to meditating and seeing how that feels. And? So far, so good...

Even though I don't blog every day (and believe me, I've treated blogging the same way I'm treating meditation), I meditate most days. Sometimes at home, sometimes at the church, sometimes while I'm out walking. Leaving myself some wiggle room generally means that I find time for meditation and self-care and freed of the tyranny of schedules, also means that my meditation time is usually when I'm most open and ready for it. I also find the mindfulness moments to be sticky enough to last longer which excites me to no end. I've got a bear of a schedule coming up and will need to be fully present in MANY moments with MANY people and am convinced that my fledgling mindfulness practises combined with my faith and the wonderful group of people I'm going to be with throughout much of the summer will be sustaining and uplifting and for that I am grateful.

So don't beat yourself up if you are unable to meditate on a daily basis or even any kind of schedule. That defeats the purpose and is as far from loving kindness (your own or others) as it is possible to get.

Theta dimensions

Rainy day so did my meditation in the chapel. Continuing an extended trial of non-verbal meditations, I used Theta Dimensions (the 20 minute version). It's tranquil and soft and light on the mind but substantive enough to actually get me to a peaceful place and keep me there for a bit. Since both Teta Nature and Theta Dimensions have proven to be useful and helpful and yes, enjoyable, I purchased both ($10 total) and would recommend that you do the same if you try either one and like them.

Theta nature.

Today's meditation was courtesy of Guenther Goerg and midipianist.com. It's a 20-minute sound-based meditation without any spoken words and it was perfect for the day. For those of you who live in a place other than San Francisco, the weather here has been cold, foggy, not very exciting to be in so to wake up to sunshine and warmth required something a bit different hence the non-guided meditation.

Sound-based meditations all seem to remind me of brain entrainment programs with the familiar sound of rainfall or crashing ocean waves and nature sounds with an undercurrent of binaural beats. Binaural beats are known or thought to be known as calming and relaxing and also increasing creativity. This of course is supposed to increase with use and while I believe that is indeed possible, I'm not quite willing to put this in the totally known category until I can know that for a fact myself.

In the meantime, it's lovely, tranquil, perfect for walking, sitting, laying down and useful enough to add to the links.

Namaste.

Today

Way too hard to get out of bed this morning so the meditation was short. Didn't mean it wasn't good but it didn't give me the normal stretch out I've been getting used to. I believe that's a good thing as I'm starting to understand what qualifies as good or at least helpful and that's a very constructive thing. Off to the Warriors game, see you all tomorrow!

Building a routine

"For those who have been trained by it, no discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful." Bobby McFerrin

I was always comforted by that fairly often heard paradigm that anything that you managed to stick to for 21 days became an ingrained habit. That was until I read an article by Ben Gardner entitled "Busting the 21 days habit formation myth". Now 21 days is only three weeks (not even a month) and that definitely always felt doable so this is somewhat disheartening but it gets worse when Mr. Gardner comes up with his figure of 66 days. Now we're talking about two months and who can do that?

Sigh. Pause for breath.

Surprisingly I think that when it comes to meditation, 66 days might be very doable now that I've found a routine that seems not only doable but desirable. Thanks to my friend Alison, I have two excellent bolsters that fit nicely on my sofa. If I follow the normal routine, I'm up at 5:30am to feed and quiet the cats, back to bed to listen to the news in a prone position until 6:30a, and then up, turn on the coffee maker and do my meditation while all that is going on. The coffee takes care of itself, one of the cats will join me on the sofa and I do a 15-20 minute routine that leaves my mind fairly clear and with the right energy to do some light cleaning, prepare breakfast, get dressed and leave the house purposefully.

A side benefit is that I find myself doing an additional meditation as I make my way to work: walking, riding on MUNI, whatever. It's certainly not out of a need to fulfill a commitment or to (hah!) impress somebody, it's just another little joy and positive addition to my morning. Back to the 66 day thing...

Maybe it's not important to keep a count right now. Maybe it's more important to just accept the fact that doing this (meditation) makes my day better. Sort of like understanding that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. There'll be challenging times ahead when I'm on the road and away from the things that ground me and normal habits would indicate that I'll stray away from the normal day to day things that help keep me sane. But why should that be the case with meditation?

OMG.

In all of my bumbling and stumblings looking at meditation and tools I came across an app and website entitled "OMG, I can meditate". While the app and the site put me off a little bit there was enough there to recommend at least giving it a try and so I did. Turned out to be a good decision as I've been using it in the mornings and liking it quite a bit. There is an introduction in the beginning that I find helpful and enables me to get into a ready position and the length is also just about right (15 minutes). The app is also set up to track your meditations and I like that as well as it's another way for me to keep on point. The first meditation I did was 14 minutes long but moving up to 15 gets me the same quality guide but more silence and I'm really starting to benefit from the quiet times. So kudos to the provider and yes, there is a link to the site!